We all need a laugh, and sometimes the best way to get one is by reading something completely ridiculous. “Stupid quotes” can be hilarious, confusing, or even accidentally wise.
If said by politicians, celebrities, or just floating around the internet, these quotes will make you giggle, cringe, or scratch your head.
This collection of stupid quotes ranges from funny to nonsensical, including notable mentions from Kamala Harris and Donald Trump. Ready to roll your eyes and laugh out loud? Let’s dive in!
Kamala Harris Stupid Quotes
- 😂 I am who I am because I am who I am
- 🤔 The passage of time is about time passing
- 🧠 We must work together to work together
- 😵 Climate change is a climate that’s changing
- 😬 We have to do what we do when we do it
- 🫣 It’s time to do what we’ve been doing and that time is every day
- 🤷 We need to take action on the actions we need to take
- 🙃 We have to see what we can see when we see it
- 🤨 We’re seeing a movement because people are moving
- 😅 Schools are places where children go to learn in schools
- 🌀 We must understand the importance of understanding
- 🗣️ We must speak truth about speaking truth
- 🧩 We can’t do everything unless we do some things
- 🤡 The future is about what comes next
- 😐 It’s important to be important about important things
Stupid Quotes Funny
- 😂 I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure
- 🤯 I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right
- 🐓 I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without being questioned
- 🤡 I’m on a seafood diet—I see food and I eat it
- 🛌 I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode
- 🐍 I put my phone in airplane mode but it didn’t fly
- 🤪 Why fall in love when you can fall asleep
- 🧃 I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome
- 🪞 My mirror and I had a fight—I lost
- 🧠 My brain has too many tabs open
- 📵 I texted my crush a joke. Now I’m blocked
- 🎓 I graduated with a degree in being wrong
- 🧊 Ice is just water that’s cold with commitment issues
- 🍕 Pizza can’t break your heart but people can
- 😴 Sleeping is my cardio
Stupid Quotes That Make No Sense
- 🤔 The sky is only blue because the ocean is jealous
- 🧠 If time had a color, it would be Tuesday
- 🌀 I walked backward into the future of yesterday
- 🛸 Bananas don’t wear hats unless it’s raining on the moon
- 🐘 Elephants never forget, but I forgot why
- 🧼 Soap tastes like regret
- 🧊 The freezer is where cold goes to think
- 🚪 If a door closes, open a window—unless it’s a submarine
- 💡 I turned on the light to darken the room
- 🪑 Chairs are just leg prisons for humans
- 📦 Boxes are square circles with edges
- 🌵 Cactus hugs are for brave souls
- 🍴 Forks are just aggressive spoons
- 💨 Air is just invisible stuff
- ⏰ Alarm clocks are traitors
Funny Stupid Quotes
- 🤪 I’m not great at math but I know 2+2 = fish
- 🧠 I accidentally ate a sock thinking it was a pancake
- 🥴 I bought a mirror to see if I’m real
- 😵 I asked Siri to marry me
- 🎩 I put a hat on my toaster to keep it warm
- 🧃 I poured orange juice into my car instead of oil
- 🧦 I wore socks on my hands to feel fancy
- 🦆 I tried talking to ducks to learn their secrets
- 🧹 My broom ran out of gas
- 🕶️ I wore sunglasses at night to feel mysterious
- 🥔 I thought potatoes could charge phones
- 🧛 I tried becoming a vampire but the sun was too bright
- 💧 I tried to drink water with a fork
- 🌈 Rainbows are just sky noodles
- 📺 I tried to change the TV channel with a banana
Trump Stupid Quotes
- 🧠 I have the best words
- 💪 Nobody has done more for [insert group] than me
- 🌪️ Windmills cause cancer
- 🦠 We should try injecting disinfectant
- 🧼 I know more about COVID than doctors
- 📘 I’ve read more than anyone else
- 🛑 I alone can fix it
- 🤷 I know nothing about it, but I know everything about it
- 🧍♂️ Standing in front of a church makes me holy
- 🔥 California needs to rake the forests
- 💉 COVID will just go away, like a miracle
- 📉 If we didn’t test, we wouldn’t have cases
- 🧢 I’m like, really smart
- 🐝 Global warming is fake because it’s cold today
- 😴 Sleepy Joe is sleepy
Being Stupid Quotes
- 😵 Being stupid is like being dead—you don’t know it, only others do
- 🤪 I tried to outsmart myself, and lost
- 🧠 Intelligence is knowing I’m dumb and still doing it
- 🤦 I made the same mistake twice to be sure it was a mistake
- 🐒 Sometimes I amaze myself with how dumb I can be
- 🚫 Smart is optional, stupid is forever
- 🥴 I got lost in a parking lot I parked in
- 🧃 I thought Wi-Fi was a person
- 📺 I paused Netflix to look for the remote
- 🧠 I bought a smart fridge, now it mocks me
- 🧩 I failed a puzzle for 3-year-olds
- 🚪 Walked into a glass door twice
- 🧦 Wore mismatched socks on purpose, then forgot it was on purpose
- 🪑 Argued with a chair and lost
- 🍞 Tried to toast bread with a flashlight
People Are Stupid Quotes
- 🧠 Common sense is not so common
- 🤯 Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
- 🧱 You can’t fix stupid
- 🤷 People are proof evolution takes breaks
- 🚫 Don’t argue with stupid—it drags you down and beats you with experience
- 🐑 Stupid is as stupid does
- 📢 Loud doesn’t mean right
- 🧃 Thinking is optional for some
- 🪞 Mirror test: Failed
- 🐓 Talking nonsense confidently is still nonsense
- 🧠 Brains are on vacation
- 🌪️ Minds like hurricanes—empty in the center
- 🐌 People run slow when thinking
- 🧊 Cold logic, warm stupidity
- 🐒 Monkey see, monkey repeat stupid
I Feel Stupid Quotes
- 🥴 I Googled my own name to check who I am
- 🧠 I called someone and forgot why
- 🙈 I answered the microwave instead of my phone
- 💡 I thought 12am was noon
- 📴 I restarted my phone because the screen was dark—it was off
- 🥴 I waved at someone who wasn’t waving at me
- 🧃 I asked the waiter for a refill at a self-service place
- 🧦 I wore shoes without socks and regretted my whole life
- 📢 I said “you too” when someone said “enjoy the movie”
- 🧻 I tried to open automatic doors manually
- 🚪 I pulled a push door with confidence
- 🧃 I drank juice, forgot it, drank again like it was new
- 🧠 I forgot my password while typing it
- 🧍♂️ I stood in a room wondering why I entered
- 📞 I hung up on myself
Conclusion
Stupid quotes, If said in seriousness or by accident, provide comic relief, reflection, and a much-needed break from daily seriousness.
If you laughed, cringed, or shook your head, these quotes prove that stupidity—intentional or not—can be incredibly entertaining.
Share them with friends or keep them handy for those moments when you need a quick laugh!
